Life and Times of Sasha Fierce

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this weekend, the banker was in dc. i spent quite a bit of time fretting over how i would deal with his literal reappearance in my life. in the end, i decided that whatever happened wouldn’t knock me off my ass, so i could handle seeing him. in retrospect, it was the right decision. i saw him friday, saturday and sunday and all in all, it was great to catch up and play pretend for a bit. he is a very touchy-feely guy and while that is typically not my style, i enjoyed spending time with him and i’m happy to know that he’s doing well.

i feel good about seeing him and confirming that we are not right for each other. not that there was any doubt, but sometimes its easy to forget. we are SO different and in many big deal ways we do not see eye to eye. so i’m happy i spent the weekend looking back, but am thrilled that i live in the present.

okay, i know that i just said a few days ago that i was cutting my losses. and i am. but i also still had a teensy bit of hope and so (i think i previously mentioned this) i invited the guy to my little party last night. he said he was coming, but i wasn’t sure. around 9pm, he sent me a text confirming the location. once i got there, i got all these texts from him saying “where are you?”, etc. i told him EXACTLY what floor we were on, had all my friends looking out for him (he’s a big, linebacker sized black man – not hard to spot) and waited for him in the doorway to the floor we were on. didn’t find him. this bullshit continued all night. him saying where are you, but never telling me what floor he was on. i searched the whole place for him and didn’t find him. at one point i got a text from him saying he was in VIP and asking if i saw rihanna. ugh. by the end of the night, when i had been there for four hours and he STILL hadn’t found me, it was quite clear that he didn’t want to be found. he kept whining about not being able to find me, which was bullshit. everyone else that i met up with found me. friends i separated from during the night found me. he could’ve fucking found me. i apologize for the language, but i’m really upset by this.

when i left, i left him a pretty irate voicemail. then i remembered that he doesn’t typically listen to voicemail. so i sent him a text that said “i know you don’t listen to voicemail. so if you don’t hear mine, you should know i’m pretty upset with you.” about 45 minutes later, i got a text from him that said “i’m walking home from park – my phone is all jacked up – someone spilled a drink on it. i’m frustrated that i didn’t find you guys. i will talk to candice about it.” so there are many things about this message that pissed me off. first, all of the excuses. my phone is jacked up, blah blah blah. really? because your phone seemed to be fine all text. second, who the hell is candice? i have no idea who he is talking about. third, the statement that he is “frustrated” he didn’t find us. oh, really? you’re frustrated? he fucking spent all night in a club where he was supposed to be celebrating my new job with ME and he was up in VIP and doing god knows what and he has the gall to tell me he’s fucking “frustrated”?!

needless to say, i did not respond to that bullshit text message. i am just SO mad. i’m not sure what i should do next. just completely ignore him? should i arrange to meet him face to face to tell him that whatever the hell we’ve been doing is OVER? i don’t know. all i know right now is how pissed i am.

oh, and the banker is coming to town in three weeks. the fun never ends.

so i just accepted a new job (yay!) and am pretty excited about it. so excited that i’ve decided that saturday night i’m going to go shake my ass at park to celebrate. i sent an email to the usual suspects and also shot off a text to the bartender. the usual suspects included the man i’m giving up. he was very ambiguous, not committing either way. WHAT A SHOCK. sigh. bartender texted back “oh, congrats! i’m supposed to work, but i’ll rearrange stuff. i’ll be there.” and there, ladies and gentlemen, is a textbook example of how you keep a woman happy. you don’t play bullshit games. you simply are normal. it’s sad that this is not the norm.

i thought i’d provide a quick update on the guy that i went on a date with last week. as i mentioned, we had a good time but i wasn’t sure if i felt any sort of romantic spark. he text me on sunday to say that he had a good time, etc. i responded on monday thanking him again for dinner and saying that it was fun. shortly after i sent my text, he sent one back that said “what’s good this week.” i did not respond. this is why: first and foremost, who talks like that? okay, i actually know lots of people (mostly men) that talk like that. but those men have swagger. date boy does NOT. he’s not a nerd or anything, but swagger is one of those things that you either have or you don’t. second, what type of response is he looking for with that semi-question/quasi-statement? i have no idea and really didn’t wish to exert that much energy thinking about it. third, i was pretty sure i didn’t want to see him again. so i never responded and didn’t hear back from him. although i think i should check back with him in a couple of weeks bc we all know how much i enjoy having bartender friends. 🙂 just saying.

in other news, i have a weekend of fun activities planned and then may try to go spend a few days with my bff down in NC. i have to confirm my schedule before i can commit to going but i haven’t seen her since may and i miss her dearly. i could use a change of scenery and a mini escape from dc might be just what the doctor ordered.

as i mentioned, there is a man. who i am kind of seeing. but i also went on a date with another man last week. and i feel slightly guilty. i know that i have no reason to feel guilty and that i can do what i want. the man and i have no commitment to each other. but every time i see him, it’s amazing. the problem is when i don’t see him, he acts…less than desirable. i change my mind every single day about how i’m going to deal with him and this situation.

i had fun on the other date, but i didn’t feel any sparks. i may see the guy one more time, before i declare that we just have to be friends. i don’t know. i haven’t really dated more than one person at a time. but i figure, there’s a first time for everything, right? i definitely think that if i met someone else that i really liked, i’d go for it. i just don’t know if i’ve already met the person i really like. if i have (meaning if it’s the man i’m kind of dating), then i’m screwed. because i KNOW that i need some distance from this thing. but he’s so fun! and listens to everything i say and remembers it! and i’m attracted to him! and he’s smart! and likes to dance! sigh. why does everything have to be so.freaking.hard.

i had an excellent night last night. i went to dinner with LS BFF, her BF, l, lo and (unexpectedly) AHS. we had a table outside, a pitcher of margaritas and life was good! it was delightful. then, i had the great idea that i would turn the tables and start catcalling groups of men that were walking by. talk about amazing. i freaking love acting like a man! the men were so surprised when they realized i was hollerin’ at them. so cute. 🙂

then l and i went to patty boom boom for some reggae music. it’s a total sweatbox in that place, but we had a good time. the rum punch is a-ma-zing! kind of strong, but totally delicious. AND the bartender was HOT. so…i did what any red blooded gal would do and left him my number on the bill. and he has been texting me all day! it’s pretty funny because now i can’t remember anything about him except he was hot. and i never introduced myself so he has no idea who he’s texting. but it’s kind of fun.

i blame all of this on spring fever. yelling at men! leaving numbers for bartenders! what can i say – it’s finally nice out!!

…and by the one, i mean the 50th one about dating :). i’ve decided to issue a challenge/request to my friends. as well all know, i’m pretty fabulous. 🙂 i think i’m just about ready to meet a man who is just as fabulous. and, my friends are pretty freaking fabulous as well. so, it only makes sense that my fabulous friends introduce me to their other single fabulous men friends. so, i’m asking: if you live in the dc area (i’m not doing long distance), think of one super fabulous friend that you think i would get along with. once you have that friend in mine, let’s go out and get a drink. 


i figure i probably have about 10-15 dc area friends who read this blog. so that’s 10-15 introductions. seems like a good place to start to me 🙂 especially since i couldn’t go to the libel show this year and meet my future husband at uva (ahem, LS BFF!)…

alright. the challenge is there! go team!


  • None
  • Laura: i feel like there is a lot here to think about. my thought, at least right now, and you know how my thoughts are always changing, is that you shouldn
  • CeCe: This dude sucks! There is only so much wrong a person can do before they've undone all the good that led up to that point. You are a better person tha
  • CeCe: I can see why you're pissed. Diplomatically, I must say there are always two sides to every story, but this dude sucks! You can find a person in the b

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