Life and Times of Sasha Fierce

Archive for April 2009

most of you have probably heard about carrie prejean, the miss california who did not win miss america in part because she came out against same-sex marriage. i’ve managed to mostly stay above the fray, but today i came across a new ad that the national organization for marriage is airing, and i felt the need to comment.  

i’ve never understood why people are so strongly opposed to gay marriage. i respect and understand folks religious reasons (i am a follower myself) but think it’s very interesting and convenient to cherry pick portions of the bible to follow strictly. my feelings have always been that god doesn’t rank sin, so why do we spend so much time focusing on gay marriage, when lying is a sin, not listening to your parents is a sin, etc. so in an effort to understand more, i poked around on the nat’l org. for marriage’s website for some background about why they are so opposed.

i came across some talking points that the site advises its supporters to use. however, i found very little substance. for example, when asked “what about benefits?” those against same-sex marriage are supposed to declare that: “it’s not about benefits.” well, that’s all nice and good…except it IS largely about benefits. as we all know, there are significant tax benefits for married couples, not to mention issues of health care, hospital visitations, etc. it is ridiculous to just dismiss those issues. when asked “what the harm” is, those against same-sex marriage are supposed to say that the “harm lies in taxpayers being unable to define marriage as between a man and a woman.” um, okay. so again, where’s the harm? 

i find it so frustrating that we can continue to legally stop same-sex couples from marrying. even if you don’t agree with a gay lifestyle (which is a whole other issue, bc honestly, who gives a fuck if you agree or not? i don’t care if people agree with my personal choices in regards to my sex life), again, i have to ask what is the harm in allowing two consenting adults to marry? i have yet to hear any cognizant arguments that have any substance articulating why same-sex marriage should be illegal. *

i am particularly troubled bc research shows that african-americans disagree with same-sex marriage at a significantly higher rate than whites. i fail to understand the distinctions between loving v. virginia (the case that declared interracial marriage constitutional some 50 [yes, you are reading that correctly, just 50] odd years ago) and the fight against gay marriage now. 

i guess my bottom line is – why do YOU personally care whether a gay couple can go to a courthouse and leave with a marriage license?

*outside of religious arguments, which have no place in a discussion about legality, since we have a legal separation of church and state. and to those who want to cite bible verses condemning same-sex marriage, please don’t. i have read the verses. i understand what the bible says. but i still have trouble reconciling my christanity with a proscription against two consenting adults marrying. i’m working on ironing that all out. 🙂

i love:

  1. hot days. i complain, but secretly i love when it is socially acceptable to be half naked in public due to the heat.
  2. being single. again, i complain, but there is nothing more fun than the promise of someone new. 
  3. long lost friends discovering me on facebook. that first look at someone’s profile is thrilling. i love it.
  4. having a dog. nothing better, i swear.
  5. summer eating. light meals, lots of seafood, delicious tomatoes. yummy!
  6. agnes scott college. 
  7. lazy days that seem to stretch on forever.
  8. pineapple. especially if eaten in hawaii.
  9. summer dresses. holla!
  10. karaoke. i will never tire of it. 
this past weekend, i was in atlanta attending the agnes reunion. it was wonderful. i still am exhausted. between all the drinking, dancing (saturday night we went to opera – and it was awesome! the dj loved michael jackson and really a club can’t get better than that in my mind),  food poisoning (oh yeah. it was gross) and admiring the campus, it was a really busy weekend. 

but that’s not what’s on my mind right now. i saw the ex this weekend, albeit briefly. it was just strange. i haven’t had enough time to process my thoughts on the whole thing but i have definitely been thinking about it nonstop. i just don’t think he is ready to marry this woman in august and that makes me sad. i also feel conflicted because i would be happy if he didn’t marry this woman. of course i would never say any of this to him. i think i am just confused because when i was with him, i still felt things. and then he said things to me which were kind of not the kinds of things a happily engaged man should say to any woman, particularly his ex. so, i apparently still have these feelings and it’s pointless and ridiculous and sad because he’s freaking engaged! i also kind of think that my feelings are magnified because i’m not currently dating anyone. of course, i will always care about him. and probably always have feelings. it just makes me feel a little bummed that he’s probably going to marry someone and he’s not ready. 

i guess too, as his wedding date gets closer, it’s becoming real to me. when he first got engaged (about a year ago) it was very abstract. but now, it’s really happening. and, i’ll be honest, it’s kind of shitty when the man you had your best relationship with to date is about to getting married and you…aren’t. and you know, i don’t regret breaking up w/him all those years ago bc i was 21 and wasn’t ready. but in moments like these, i just wonder. i think i always thought that the ex would be around when/if i was ready. i guess i took that for granted. but the other hard part is that i know (he has told me) that he still feelings as well. the worse part is i don’t even know what i want. all i know is i don’t want him to get married. 

i think that’s all i have to say about this right now.

as most of you know, i absolutely LOVE my college. i had the best experience and adore all things agnes. well, tomorrow i get to go back and live life like it’s 2004! amazingly, tomorrow begins my reunion weekend at good ole agnes — 5 years! and am i excited? i’m freaking like a kid on christmas eve. so, you might ask, what kinds of things will we be doing this weekend? well, here’s a few:

  1. singing “beer beer beer for ol agnes scott. you bring the whiskey, i’ll bring the scotch” with current students and other alumna, ranging in age from 22 to 82, most of them drunk. i’m not joking.
  2. touring our beautiful campus.
  3. throwing recently engaged classmates in our alumni pond. it’s a great tradition i hope to carry out myself someday 🙂
  4. drinking. lots of drinking.
  5. and lots, lots, lots more!
i can’t wait to see all my girls. a bunch of us are staying w/agnes and c. mimmy. soo freaking fun!
last week, i pulled an old pair of jeans out of my closet and *attempted* to put them on. okay, they fit. but they did NOT fit how they fit when they were originally purchased. yuck. so, i took myself on a run friday night. of course, i went out way too fast and could barely walk on saturday. i ran again sunday and would like to go tomorrow provided the rain stops. i freaking hate gaining weight. i attribute a lot of it to living at home. my mother has a ridiculous sweet tooth and buys all kind of tempting crap. and if it’s there, i’ll eat it. which is why i don’t buy shit when i live alone. so, thanks mom for making me gain 5 pounds. 🙂 (okay, i’m joking. i don’t blame my mom. i blame my lack of willpower and cold weather. mainly the lack of willpower.)

luckily for me, it’s now getting warmer and i can actually work out. i’ve also just pretty much stopped going into the cabinets except to get cereal. it’s the only safe thing there. 

and, just on a random other note — i’m watching the hills and wtf is up w/all these random shots of women’s asses?? 

oh – one last thing. i’ve nixed the idea of travelling to NYC for a special recycling trip. good advice friends 🙂
so my BFF and i have decided to apply for the amazing race. in order to practice for the show (bc i’m so SURE we’ll get chosen, lol), i’ve come across this. it looks like a little baby, one day amazing race. and it looks super super fun. running all across dc, figuring out clues? tee shirts? crazy costumes? i’m so in! who wants to do it with me??

oh, and if you’re wondering i am NOT kidding 🙂
so, as most of you know, i’ve been single since late october. which, since it’s now early april, means that it’s been awhile. i have always liked the concept of recycling, if at all possible. i like that i’m not introducing someone new into the mix and i already know what to expect. i’ve successfully recycled before during LS when times were tough. it was the perfect setup. CL (recycle boy) and i had hooked up midway through the last semester of 3L year. it ended kind of badly but then we were able to recover and remain friends. graduation weekend, we were both crazy busy and stressed w/our respective families about to come into town. so, 2 nights before graduation, we recycled each other. and it was nice. a good way to say goodbye 🙂

so now, i want to recycle. i’m not dating anyone and i don’t do random hookups. but who to recycle? definitely am not recycling the Banker or the other loser i dated in bham. no one else lives in dc. probably the closest person (distance-wise) is CL and i don’t particularly wish to travel to NYC to recycle someone. or do i? sigh.

are we in agreement that i should not travel across state lines for the sole purpose of some recycled booty? i think i’m pretty much closing the book on this one and resigning myself to wait until i actually have a boyfriend again. double sigh. actually, i take back that sigh. i do like being single. i just don’t like not being able to scratch the itch 🙂


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  • Laura: i feel like there is a lot here to think about. my thought, at least right now, and you know how my thoughts are always changing, is that you shouldn
  • CeCe: This dude sucks! There is only so much wrong a person can do before they've undone all the good that led up to that point. You are a better person tha
  • CeCe: I can see why you're pissed. Diplomatically, I must say there are always two sides to every story, but this dude sucks! You can find a person in the b